Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
