Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
