Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
