Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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