loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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