Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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