I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
