I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
