i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The power of my boobs compel you
If I die, sorry about rent.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize