Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
