He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
