operation have a gay friend backfired
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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