what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
