So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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