The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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