Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
