the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
