Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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