I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
