Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
