How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It's official drugs can't kill me
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
