Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
ugly people sure do ruin things
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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