You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
