I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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