I puked a lego.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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