best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
