my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
