You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
