U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Don't make out with my wife yet
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My penis needs a shock collar
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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