nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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