I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
