i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
