I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
