theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
