I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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