Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
