you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize