did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
