you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
