I hope mine doesn't look like that
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize