After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
