so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
