last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize