i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I will be naked everywhere
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
