I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
