He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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