the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
