no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
