If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize