haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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