I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
