Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
