North Korea, Best Korea!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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