Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
