I think I died a long time ago.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
