the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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