did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
MIDGETS
????
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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