Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
