Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
