If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
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