She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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