talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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