see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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