maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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