Buhtt sex?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
