I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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